Words by Nicole Atieno, Photography by Emil Dietrich

“Every Word Is a Spell”: In Conversation with EARTHEATER on Childhood Dreams, Motherhood and the Rhythms of the Universe

Sometimes, returning to our roots can become the source from which something entirely new begins to grow. Last year, Eartheater was finally able to buy back the farm where she grew up, which her mother had been forced to sell when she was a teenager. Now, her own baby daughter will grow up on the same land. Becoming a mother can be a magical and transformative experience – and, as Eartheater describes it, one that can hit you like an earthquake, completely rearranging your internal landscape. On her new album, HEAVENLY BODY: IF I’M THE BOTTLE, YOU’RE THE MESSAGE, she pours her reflections on these fundamental experiences of being human into her music: motherhood, love, nature, family, and the strange beauty of surrendering to what we cannot control. In fact, much of Alexandra Drewchin’s life right now seems to revolve around a rediscovery of a more elemental kind of joy. When asked what she associates with the word Fräulein, she imagines a girl in a beautiful dress, surrounded by mountains, with the sun breaking through the clouds just after a heavy rain – perhaps the most beautiful description of Fräulein we’ve ever heard. How do you arrive at a place where you feel so deeply in tune with the universe? Eartheater tells us here.

Nicole Atieno: Growing up with a Russian father and an English mother, how has that shaped who you are today?

Eartheater: I feel like they’re very different cultures. Russians – or Slavs in general – are very passionate people, and they’re hardworking. I think my dad instilled an artist’s work ethic in me: practicing, practicing, practicing, and relentlessly polishing. And then my mother – the Englishness of her is that she’s a wonderful gardener. I love plants and horses, and I ride English style. She really instilled in me this rough-and-tumble vibe that comes with the English countryside: just being in a pair of wellies, rubber boots, and dirty jeans, getting your hands dirty, and then drinking a lot of tea.

Your mother once owned a farm that was eventually sold, and for nearly 20 years, you held on to the dream of buying it back. Now that you’ve finally been able to do so, what did that moment mean to you?

Today is actually the two-year anniversary of the day my husband and I went back to the property and realized we needed to buy it. It was also the day I conceived Nova, two years ago. September 1st – a very special day. I remember stepping onto the land, driving up the driveway, and seeing the beautiful green landscape and the water lilies in the pond. The apples on the trees were so red and juicy that year.

What did that experience unlock in you?

It unlocked this huge sense of romance, trust, and belief in one’s dreams. It had been my biggest dream my whole life, and the fact that it just unfolded and came true… unbelievable. Also, I had always been perfectly okay with the notion that maybe I would never find a partner, maybe I would never have a baby. But we still have our dreams, and we can’t deny those dreams. I think for many years I was afraid to admit to certain things I wanted because I was afraid they might not come true. But then, in lucid moments, I would just say, “No, this is what I want. This is what I need.”

 

It’s important to do that because saying things out loud is magical. The fact that to spell a word and to cast a spell share the same word – that’s not a coincidence. Every word we say is a spell.

You wrote PARADISE RAIN in connection with the farm. What does that song – and the idea of “paradise” itself – mean to you now that you’ve reclaimed a piece of your family history?

It kind of links to what we were just talking about – the bliss, romance, and joy that I unlocked with my husband, buying the farm, and conceiving my baby. To me, it felt like heaven was here on earth. I just felt incredibly grateful, as if the heavens were raining down grace upon us.

Your daughter Nova has become part of this new chapter of your life. How has becoming her mother changed the way you think about time and love?

I think it has made me so much more patient. I’ve realized that resting in patience and allowing myself not to be reactive is such a beautiful kind of power. I wish I had understood that more before. A baby doesn’t know what they’re doing – they’re constantly testing things. You have to observe and support them. They don’t know how to describe or express what they’re feeling, and they’re processing all of these emotions for the first time. So it’s really about patience and the grace that patience brings to life.

 

It has also made me so much more careful with myself. I treat myself better than I ever have before because I know that I’m a better mother when I do. I’m calmer, and more organized when I get enough sleep and give myself enough time to take care of myself — to do my skincare, to really take my time flossing, all those little things.

In the past, I was very adventurous, and that was beautiful. I had to go through that. But sometimes I think I sacrificed my self-care just to be out all the time. There’s something fabulous about being rock ’n’ roll and falling asleep with your makeup on. But I want my daughter to know me as a calm person, not someone who is always stressed out. So time management has become a huge thing for me. Giving myself enough time to take a bath every night, for example. I love taking baths with her now, just to relax. It’s so sweet because she turns into this tiny newborn again. With the warm water and our bodies next to each other, it’s almost as if she’s back in the womb.

You once described pregnancy as something that can hit you like an earthquake – an experience that completely rearranges your internal landscape. What was the biggest emotional or psychological shift you experienced that you hadn’t expected?

I didn’t know how my body would react to pregnancy, and there are still certain aches and pains that linger. You can only control so much – most of it you can’t control at all. You just have to trust.

 

That feeling forces you into a kind of Zen state, but I also give myself a lot of grace when it’s not Zen. When that hormonal earthquake really starts welling up, it feels so good to just let it happen – to say whatever you need to say, let the tears come, and just let it all out.

Do you think social media has contributed to a romanticized image of pregnancy?

You know, I didn’t even think about the romance of it. I was just really blunt about the experience, like in the song GLOWING GUTS. It’s just a raw, real, direct feeling – such a corporeal experience.

I think women often show themselves in the most beautiful, precious way when they’re pregnant, but those images don’t necessarily give you the information you actually need. Last Mother’s Day, I was going through my pictures, trying to decide which ones I wanted to post. There were really beautiful pictures of me with my face beat, good lighting, wearing a cute outfit with my belly out. And I think that’s important too – to feel empowered by that sort of stoic, sculptural, archetypal magic and power of pregnancy.

 

But I ended up posting pictures of myself after the really bad infection I got during my C-section. There was a picture of me draining the wound, which was something I had to do every day. People need to see this. It’s actually pretty common, but they don’t really talk about it.

You kept a diary during this period, and some of those entries eventually inspired tracks like GLOWING GUTS. What did writing privately allow you to express that you weren’t yet able to put into your music?

Yeah, it was actually just in my notes. I think I had writer’s block, so I went back through them and thought, “What is this saying?” And then I decided not to edit it, but simply to write it out as it was. And suddenly it was like, “Oh, this is how it’s going to be.”

You often gravitate toward astronomical and cosmic metaphors. What is it about the language of stars, planets, space, and the universe that resonates with you?

I guess if you look at any point in the sky, there’s a star there. And if you take a telescope and you move it to any section, you will find another one. Some stars are more dim and some stars are more bright, but all of the light that we’re seeing is traveling over time, right? So the star light is actually slowly getting brighter and brighter and brighter as it gets closer to us. And maybe there will be a day when every single tiny section of the sky is illuminated with light from all the stars around us. The light is moving towards us. At some point it will just be pure light. And maybe that’s when everything stops.

The music and also other creative industries increasingly ask artists to constantly be visible online. How do you protect the private and experimental space that you need?

That’s so funny. My label is constantly asking me to post more TikToks, and I guess maybe I would be more famous if I did. But I feel like I’m sort of allergic to anything that feels disingenuous, and I just want to act out of inspiration. I’ve gone through periods where I actually love sharing things and feel really deeply connected to my fans, but it’s a gut feeling — knowing when and when not to engage with that.

 

And I think about things like, “Would Nina Simone be posting TikToks?” No. I feel like it takes away from the magic of the music. I really do believe that maintaining a sense of mystery is important.

Looking ahead, do you feel that becoming a mother will change the direction of Eartheater, or do you see motherhood as another universe that can exist alongside the artist you’ve already become?

I think Nova is the most important thing I’ve ever done, and I just feel like my purpose was to bring her here.

I actually don’t think becoming a mother will change the direction of Eartheater. I think it’s all part of the plan. The kinds of things I was musing on before all fall into a similar realm of nature and giving birth, in one way or another. So this all fits within the same language and lexicon I’ve already been speaking in.

I’m excited for the next album because I feel like she’ll still like that. The narrative of becoming a mother will be laced into it, but it won’t be everything. Even though I just said that the most important thing I’ve ever done is bring my daughter here, the most important thing for me as a mother is to be someone who feels really empowered in her work – someone who loves what she does, is proud of what she has done, and is proud of who she is. It’s all one thing.

When you think about Nova growing up in the world we’re shaping today, what kind of world do you hope she inherits?

What gives me hope is that I get to introduce my baby to so many incredible people from different cultures, different upbringings, different genders — all these different variations and beautiful combinations of people coming together. I hope she finds beauty wherever she is, no matter how difficult things may be.

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