IN CONVERSATION WITH PORSCHELANE ON ATHEN’S EVOLVING CLUB CULTURE AND TOXIC POSITIVITY

It’s a lot of adapting because I found myself in a new city after seven years of living in Athens. It only gradually goes to better things because the work I started putting in has finally started coming to fruition. Now that I just finished my first year in Berlin on October 2nd, I’m thinking that I did a lot and, actually, I’m proud of myself. That isn’t something I say too often to myself. I’ve been working on this song and a couple of other music projects since last summer, and now I’ve finished everything and it’s ready to come out. I’m so beyond excited.

Winter was tough, but slowly I got used to the weather and the cultural differences between Athens and Berlin.

I was familiar with Sophie’s music and was a big fan of hers. I found her on Tumblr many years ago. She moved to Athens, and we got to know each other and hang out, especially during quarantine, and went on vacation in Crete together. I really got to see how she translates the narrative of life into music. I got to see what she really means when she says all those things, and how her music, even though many times it doesn’t even have lyrics, makes you develop new feelings that you’ve never felt before. I’m honoring her through my music because she was the main reason I started making more music. I made a few demos and heard her say: “Let’s work together!” We never got to work together because of the tragedy that happened to her.

I had friends I was working with at the time, and they were very skeptical about it because they were also on their first moves, but Sophie taught me that it doesn’t have to be professional or a finished result, it doesn’t have to come out, but it’s fun to go through the creative process.

There have been times when I felt less because of my femininity in a male-dominated industry, or by being surrounded by rappers who are already more popular or successful. I’ve felt more that I need to tone down the aggression than my femininity or my flamboyant self, let’s say.

I stumbled upon this term when I was listening to Slayyyter and her new era. How electronic pop music is going and changing now kind of follows the political state of the world. Music has even the slightest commentary on the economy, not only my song, but in general. This term talks about currencies like attention and feelings. My song is very straightforward when it comes to this: it talks about how people don’t want to invest and spend a lot of energy or money when it comes to intimacy and sexual or romantic relationships. It deals with the economy, which is making relationships less real, dividing us from each other and putting us into small boxes.

I was working on a different music project last year while I went through my first breakup. I was really heartbroken and single after years of being in a relationship. I had a different POV on human relationships, on topics like consumption and lust, how quick it is to get a fix or a one-night stand. After that breakup, I left my house in Athens and came to Berlin for one month, so everything was really new to me. You feel empty after being in a relationship, living with someone, maintaining a household together and having a cat.

I found myself not able to go for a true feeling but also felt like I should never do it as everyone around me kind of did not. I can see how liberating this is for some people, but at the same time, this has to do with what was before. I’m so happy when I hear people telling me about their experiences they made in that freedom. It is fascinating how easy it can be to give your everything for a night, a week or a party. I came to Berlin from a background of instability to explore my sexuality for the first time in my life as I had the urge to explore, that was beautiful. Politics shape our psychology and, apart from our day to day life, how you view dating and what makes sense for you.

I was having this conversation a few days ago. You cannot put the blame on one of them and decide who is the problem and who is getting hurt more. I think if men are getting hurt, women are getting hurt too. They’re intertwined.

I think men are now catching up with what women have been going through for ages. You cannot say that someone who is very insecure about their appearance needs to change and is causing the problems.

The only one being hurt is often the only one being heard. This again focuses on pointing fingers and creates more division. You view the person in front of you as an enemy and may blame too fast. I think it hurts both sides, because even when there are bad men, all men benefit from it, as it lifts your value and gives inflation once again. At the same time, what is happening with rape culture and everything all over the world, and this college student case, it’s really scary. I still believe that this comes from this deranged division of men viewing women as this and women viewing men as this, and the whole topic of objectification. Because when you’re focused on carving out a statue of your face or your body, you put a little less effort into carving your reign.

I still believe in monogamy. It comes and goes, because by changing all those things that we say, such as what we hate about patriarchy or older ideas of how relationships should be, I deeply believe that relationships are monogamous. For me to believe that I’m with someone, to feel like I am in a relationship, it would have to be like this.

Because if it’s not, and it starts as something that is not, it doesn’t get registered in my brain that now we’re together, the two of us.

I really loved going back to Athens to have this party, because last year, actually, one of my last gigs was opening for ARCA’s first concert in Athens. I then completely left the city and never went back for a year. So going back with a big project that is all mine, building the party the way I wanted with the lineup that I wanted, and having a special guest like Miss Bashful, whom I met when I was in Berlin, all made great sense to me. I went back, I collaborated with a doll collective party of Athens. They’re all my friends, and we’ve been working together for many years, and they helped me execute my vision the way I wanted. It was really wholesome and had a real family vibe to me. It felt like my birthday and coming back for Christmas at the same time. I had a friend tell me, “Happy birthday,” and I was like, “What? What are you talking about?” He said that it felt like I was having a birthday, as everybody came for me.

In general, clubbing is how it all started. I was always out with Babynymph, even before DJing. Going partying felt freeing to us; especially in Athens, it was necessary. The rest of the city is less open-minded than Berlin or other European countries. No matter if she was playing a set or we were just standing somewhere in the club, not actively on the dance floor, we were always talking about that.

My best friend is the founder of Heaven On Earth, and we’re kind of doing this together. We wanted to make more events, and this seemed like a great follow-up because it’s their second event and I wanted to recreate the same vibe. I went to Athens to shoot the music video for the song and decided that as long as I’m there, I could do the party. And since the party in Athens was so cute and nice, I thought, let’s do something similar and keep the title for Berlin. Also, I’m doing it on the actual release day of the track. I love Studio 1111, it’s one of my favorite venues, and I really want perform there, because I’ve only DJed there before. For this one we’re having Miss Bashful, and it’s actually one of the last shows she’s doing in Berlin before she’s moving out.

Honestly, I want listeners to have fun and feel cunty. If they can take one thing, it’s that you can still have esoteric thoughts that are troubling your brain while having fun. Your spirit doesn’t have to be sad if you just think about something negative for a second. Some people could say it’s toxic positivity or sugarcoating, but I think that everything is a choice. So if I choose to see the world as a miserable place and be sad about it, I can do that, but I can also see the world as a miserable place and still think I’m not like this. That I’m not going to follow the trend and the masses and be detached from feelings and love.

Right now I’m in the studio, spending a lot of time writing new music, so I think by next year I will release an EP. I’m really excited about it, but I also don’t put any pressure on it. I let things go with the flow, and I think it turns out the best way possible like this.