Jehnny Beth: Anatomy of a broken Heart

Jehnny Beth: This record works in both ways. It is a reflection of the world, but also an antidote for the world. Whichever you feel comfortable with. I think music is an incredible way of dealing with situations that make you feel powerless. Music gives you power and also makes you relate. I definitely feel like music saved my life a few times.

Not just that. I think the idea of making a record because it`s cathartic is getting a bit old. I don`t think people really care about that. And I don`t care about that either. I do my own journals every morning, and I will get better on my own. Nobody really needs to read that. Making a song is a different thing. It is a tool for conversation. That`s why making a record can be a daunting exercise because sometimes you`re not sure what you have got to say.

The new songs are basically love songs, but they`re not sweet. I have direct access to my anger. And that`s great. I think it`s healthy. Being heartbroken in a world that is heartbreaking means you`re sane. It`s a sign of being alive. There`s no peace in this world. I don`t think it exists. The world will break your heart. The people you love will break your heart. They will do and say things you disagree with. But it doesn`t mean you have to run away. You still have to go on to fix it.

I`m not romantic at all, although the album title has a romantic aspect. It`s acknowledging the pain people you love can give you but saying it with tenderness. We are full of contradictions. I am a good example. While we were doing the record, me and my partner and producer Johnny Hostile took a walk in London. We found this car that was covered in concrete. Before the concrete hardened, someone had written „You cheating bastard, I`m pregnant with your child“ on it…

We weren`t sure if we loved it or were worried about it. It was very visceral, and there was something very prehistorical about the whole thing. It reminded me of cavemen`s paintings, and I went online to find out that there`s a whole library of cars being violently tagged by ex-lovers with words like „c*nt“, „cheater“ and all that. That made me think that in terms of love and relationships, we`re not that evolved. Love and violence are strongly connected. I am questioning levels of empathy and why we`re built that way. Later I asked a friend to tag my own car. She wrote, „You Heartbreaker, you“ – that writing became the album title. It`s a full circle of love and hate.

Yes! And I`m angry at myself for not making it sooner. That loud expression was buried in me for a long time. Finding the energy and the courage to do it was very hard. There are red flags everywhere, saying: „Don`t approach this woman“ (laughs). It`s scary, because love is scary. When people are obsessed with other people, there`s nothing scarier than that. It`s demonic.

Of course. A lot of them. I do them all the time. There´s one entry that says „the world is a better place with a good song in it“. Some of the things were actually written during the making of the new record. If you read through them you`ll find some keys to the record.

Shirley Manson said something to me once. She`s been through a lot and she experienced a period
of time when the industry was even more misogynist than today. She said that the world is in need of representation of women who are not playing by the rule book. Nowadays there are more and more women not playing by the book. Also in pop music. I`m not a brat-fanatic, but I do think there`s something about it that is interesting because it`s part party girl and part not behaving – a good thing to show. The problem is: Every time you express some sort of elevated liberation for yourself, on the other side of the planet somebody is buying a gun …

To demand the world to be more woke was desperately needed. The result was a backlash from men still in power that spawned Trump. But I think it`s cyclical. What we see now is normal, because it`s a reaction to #metoo. They want to take back the narrative to be back in control. They didn`t like that we opened our mouths about trans rights, about women`s rights and about rights in general. But I hope this is just a momentary relapse. That it`s the last death dance of patriarchy.

I learnt that I was too distracted from everything. Social media, other people`s expectations, red carpets, designer dresses… I walked for Gucci and Alexander McQueen. I did two catwalks for them when Sarah Burton was in charge. I really respect her; I think she`s great. I did those things because I`m curious. For me it`s an experience. But the whole life I lived for five years was presenting films in Cannes and doing all these things that were not my world. I`m not saying this is a bad world, but it was definitely not my world. However, to create good music, it is essential to find integrity and reconnect with yourself by focusing and dropping the glamour. Going back to something that is a bit more simple was like a cleansing of the mind in a way.

Sure! I`ve learnt a lot practising boxing. I`ve been doing it for eight years with professional boxers. It took me a while to find the right club, especially in Paris. Most of them are very masculinist and competitive. Although they were very gymnastic, I really wanted to learn the craft, but I didn`t want to learn it from arseholes. I found a great club, and it saved my life at some point. I was very depressed after personal things happened in my family life. And also not being able to tour with my last record and being deprived of my stage identity for two years. It was very hard. Boxing created a place of physicality and strength. For me, boxing doesn`t mean rage. The main thing is being able to take hits without going mad. The first time you get punched in the face, your instinct is either shame or anger. The more you do it, the less you have those reactions. Today I can take a punch and laugh. Also, I realised that it helped me a lot for my acting.

It`s a way to master and connect with my body. For example, when a director gives small instructions, such as keeping my hands away from my face or making micro-movements while maintaining a flow.

He put me on stage! For the first time when I was four, in one of his plays. I learnt my first lessons about performing on stage from him. He was very open-minded and supported many young writers and actors. When I`m back in the city where I grew up, people come up to me in the supermarket. I always think they recognise me for my own art, but they`re actually like, „Are you the daughter of…?“ and telling me that my father changed their life. My dad was a great drama teacher and an excellent educator. He was very loved. He saw himself as a momentarily influence on people. He wanted them to fly and live their own lifes. That`s how he raised me, too.

It´s funny. Directors, usually when they pick me, the first thing they say is „we need to make her more normal…“

No. Creating a character is a collaborative thing. A character is created by the writer, the make-up artist, the costume designer, and the vision of the director. You`re just a part of making it believable. I don`t question people and their intentions. I ask questions about the role and try to find the right answers. I like to collaborate. I am a performer. When I`m at a TV set, I`m in the present. Or when I crowd-surf during my concerts, I`m also in the present. These are moments I cherish because they are so rare. You have no past, no future; you just feel alive. These are the moments everybody is looking for, aren`t we?